A while back, I agreed to play the role of Albany in a production of King Lear. Unfortunately, I also agreed to the play the role of Lance in a production of the Two Gentlemen of Verona, thinking the two shows wouldn't overlap at all. They did -- they were both having TWO shows on this very day! (Lear at 1PM and 6PM, Gents at 3 and 8). I arrived at the vast, low-slung, pastel-decorated industrial park/performing arts center around noon, my Albany outfit slung over my back, hoping to soothe the hackles of two angry stage managers -- but I got lost, and spent a good two hours wandering the hallways and grounds of the center, not encountering another soul.

Finally, I stumbled upon a Shakespeare production -- but it was "a Midsummer Night's Dream." The audience was incredibly rude. One woman stood up and walked onto the stage to see if the book a character was reading looked interesting. The other audience members assured me, loudly, that the cast didn't mind. I fled in embarrassment.

Finally I got to the green room for "King Lear", and in time, too! I sighed in relief and began to don my costume, when in walked my understudy, already dressed -- it was Robin Williams! I didn't feel like depriving the audience of the opportunity to see such an important person play an uninteresting character like Albany, so I said goodbye, wondering silently why Robin was wearing thick teal pancake makeup.

Now purposeless, I noodled about until I found an elegant restaurant, its floor inlaid with mother of pearl that had been hand-assembled by placid bipedal humanoid rabbits. They weren't quite done. The menu featured delicacies from around the galaxy, and had no prices, which is never a good sign. "Sir?" chimed a waiter. "Since you aren't actually in a Shakespeare play anymore, we'll have to ask you to leave."

And then I woke up. It had all been a dream.

The strangest thing about this was that, in the dream, I knew that I'd only dreamed that I was in "King Lear", and had dreamed that I was in "Two Gentlemen" in a different dream, but since I was asleep now, they both were true again.

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